Ok, heres the thing. Being a research student is not as easy as it seems. Of course in terms of classes, there are no classes except for writting classes that probably only held once in a semester. I have heard so many of complain saying that, being a research student is easy, no classes, and its like you are doing a final year project that masters by course work did in one semester.
1. We have to come up with the idea of what method to improvised. But this one is actually depends on supervisor, initially my supervisor already assign me with an idea of what im gonna do for my research. A semester gone by, it turns out the method cannot be used etc. Allah is the best creator. I never give up. Quickly my supervisor ask me to find another research method that I want to do. Because in 3months, I have to go for my defend proposal. I cried alot that time. I talk to my fiancee, my masters buddy, my sister, my bestfriend.I feel like giving up. But of course its just an expression. LOL. All of the hard work, it turn out to be rubish (at first).
2. I have to do things on my own. I have to find my own research project in a month!!!I was so confused.I read journals, papers, all I can say is, WTH are u jabbering about! Why are there alots of worms (mathematical equations), how can I get an idea out of this alien words??So get back to basic, I love control chart. So i have decided to try something that is not in the silibus. Ambitious me back then. Thats where I sit down, and propose the method to my supervisor. And I still remember what she told me. "If u like the idea, make a proposal, and tell me the methods. Maybe from there we can add up things". I was so relief!!!just for a day.
Ok, this is not my picture during my masters study, however, my point here, if you hate to talk infront of people, well, screw you.
3. Now I have to study something without any professional to come to (My lecturer of control chart just retire, ironic ha?), no books to rely. Just journals and online notes. No black and white. Everything is so blurry. I even make my own theory. I cant ask my supervisor, shes the one who ask me. Because that is not her expertise.I manage to finish my proposal in just 3 months! and to be honest, I am proud of it. From there, I know I can do things that might sound ridiculous, but I did it anyway. I only have to do minor correction. Praise to ALLAH. You can achieve things with a lot of hard work, a little bit of love, and a little bit of tears.
4. Now, after the proposal thingy have ended, here come the nightmares! To actually do the method. To test the method. And do the simulations. Ya ALLAH, here comes the tears again!! My laptop hang like hell. No one knows the method. Heres the thing about journal and papers. They dont reveal the method clearly, they like to keep it to themself, and if you want to know more, you have to call them personally and of course they want you to cite their paper. Luckily my supervisor know someone (used to be her ex supervisor). But dont worry, most of the people if we ask them through email, they will help you. Eventhough they are from aussie, india, etc. Only malaysians are quite stingy i must say.
5. I have to do papers to published in a conference. Thats the requirement for research student. From there, people might think that 5 pages of papers is nothing. You can write it in a day. Oh please! I write my paper at least for a month, with non stoppable correction. And bye2 thesis. You have to make sure the citations. The methods are correct. etc2. I end up with 4 publications, 2 internationals, 2 nationals. 1 of the international paper, I have been awarded as best paper. I am so glad I make my parents and my supervisors happy and proud :D
6. I am still in my correction phase. Its been one semesters an a half now. To be honest, I started to get tired with this research thing. The never ending alone journey. But, when i go to any conference or seminars. i got this excitement of doing research. I am glad I have been around with these professionals people. I am able to learn how they explain things, how they talk. Trust me. I love being around them. I am not the only one who feels that way, I must say all of the research student feels the same. Thats what make us not kill ourself. Ok, JK people.
I really hope I manage to finish this never ending story soon and start a new story. Thats the journey of research student. Hard as it sounds, but if you look at it, the journey, the knowledge is priceless. For those who love to judge people, and claim that what we do is a piece of cake, dont worry, I know you do not know what we really do. And you wanna feel good about being ignorant stupid shit. I dont care. This is what I do when I get bored doing my thing. I am good at this =p enjoy
OK, Bye!
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